Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Baby i am going crazy......
Baby ....i am going crazy ..... my body is crazy ........ my mind is nuts ...... there are so many things going on in my mind i really cant take it ........ i really dont know what to do .....i cant sleep now it keeps haunting me .......... FUCK IT .........
BABY I NEED YOU RIGHT NOW .....................
HELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
BABY ........................
i know i upsetted you i am sorry............. i dont wanna disturb you sleep......
although i messaged you a couple of times i guess you are asleep so its good you are sleeping .i guess i shall not call you up .......
Labels: i am going crazy help ..........
Posted by ben at 9:09 AM
Thursday, November 19, 2009
tml is the day i guess i see them off ..........
I guess tomorrow is the day i see my brothers all off in a graduation high tea......its kinda saddening but ya...... its my job or my part as their friend / brother to ya see them off ..........
Got most of the things ready except my v neck.... the blazer is bought yeah............ the winterwear jacket too .......... yeahhhhh........... right on thanks to bryant ~ thanks man...
zzzzzzz now i kinda emotional about seeing them off ...... shouldnt i be this way ? well gotta be abit atleast cause ya they are my brothers and they are leaving so ya you cant blame me but i am gonna pull up a smile just for them ....... to see them off one good last time .......
although it will end at 5 + ya i will leave around 3 + ba i wanna find my girl ...... and spend time awhile with her in my best look .... going to town ba and stroll around ba..... then have dinner and send her back after that .... ba taking alot of photos with brothers and gf tomorrow ......oh ya gotta settle some unfinished business too...... might be abit upsetting.. i guess its better end off then stilll dragging on some stupid shit ....... no point holding on to it i wanna end it as painlessly as possible..... sorry ..... if you see this ......
well now still confirming up who to go with and where to go how to go and ya what time to go =.= ....... kinda last minute and stupid ..... well what to do its their day so ya tag along ba ........ thanks zu hao ... for saying thanks ......
tomorrow gonna be strong and send them off with a smile ...... atleast i guess ..hopefully ...
Labels: One last smile, We shall leave smiling
Posted by ben at 8:23 AM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
baby ~ i miss you loads
baby ~ i miss you loads ....... its been two days since i last saw you.... i totally miss you alot ..... i feel so lonely without you around ...... i just wanna see you and i just wanna talk to you ............ as much as possible ... i miss you i miss you i miss you .....
yesterday i talked to her on the phone until around 4+ its nice to hear your voice once again ..... i really wanted to talk more but she was tired so asked her to turn in ba ........ i might have took somethings overboard so ya sorry baby i was not in that a good mood sorry ~....
i said too much le but its over le so smile .....:) baby i love you i really do... so dont go bottleing up your feelings to yourself. k? love you~
Posted by ben at 3:33 AM
Thursday, November 12, 2009
What the hell am i doing ?
Wednesday went to anchorvale cc to swim with jon ,bro ,jian rong and qian liang .
Brought baby along too .She wasnt feeling well .... even until today i am still very worried for her ...she hasnt recovered yet ....so she didnt went down to the water .i should have asked her to come cause it was stoneing there for her all the way ....... sorry baby.....
Baby today met up with me went to kovan and ya ..... i spoilted the mood once again .... by forcing upon her saying i wanna send her home ask shes not feeling well ..... great ... there was a cold mental war ... no one wants to say anything .So ya i am in the wrong so i tried to make up for it ....
While walking out of kovan ... i grabbed her hand ... asking her whats wrong .. then she told me she was going home wasnt she not suppose?.... Dam foolish of me to even do that ... i shouldnt have asked her to go home even though i care for her health but ya .... that was abit too extreme.... with that out of her mouth , i knew i was in the wrong ....
instead of trying to correct it i just sighed and squaded down putting my head onto bar ....cause i dont know what to do ...... i am so vexed at myself for being dumb and forceful with her .... i told her i will love and not to harm her in less than an hour after meeting her i just broke it ...
well i amended my mistake asking her not go home as i know she doesnt want to and as i dont want her to cause i miss her ........so ya we walked up the coffee shop and thats where i apologised ....... i really felt vexed and discouraged by my ownself .......she hugged me ...... in the time of moment everything went silent ....... i was totally in a state of blank and speechless ......why ? why ? why ?she just took all my though away from me . within a spilt second ... i felt like crying but i just couldnt i then took her to walk into kovan again we went popular and we bumbed into chelsea on the way to popular ....
After dinner while sending her home i gave her emtional and mental shock twice ......baby immediately broke down ....... this time i tried my best to comfort her but it didnt prove of much use .... i hugged her and patted her on her back thats practially all i could do at that point of time ........ she broke down that harshly i paniced and she looked pretty depress and dead went she was walking to the elevator ....... i tried to comfort her again by huggging her in the elevator and her house gate ........ damit ...... shes still abit broken ....... i am so sorry baby ..... i really am ...... i wished i could now take care of you being sick and your restless nights i will hold you tight ensuring you will be able to sleep ...... damit ....... sorry baby ....... well i decided not to sleep today inturn to accompany her until she falls asleep tonight ....... that will be what i do no matter what .........
baby i am sorry .....
Labels: sorry my baby
Posted by ben at 6:53 AM
Monday, November 9, 2009
9 th of november
baby i wrote this only for you ...
hope you will like it :)
enjoy~
I'.... love you and I'... need you
Baby, I love you, I do
Need you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Girl, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block
from me
And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need
to see
But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but
that's okay
'Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my
position
Like a shortstop, pick up everything mami hittin'
And in no time I better make this friend mine and
that's for sure
'Cause I..I never been the type to break up a happy
home
But there's something about baby girl, I just can't
leave her alone
So tell me, ma, what's it gonna be
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come
on
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Girl, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
Uh-uh-uh-uh
I see a lot in your look and I never say a word
I know how n****s start actin' trippin' , and hate up
all the girls (lol dont know what he said lol)
And there's no way Baby go for it
Ain't fucking with no dame, as you could see
But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole
demeanor
The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in
his two-seater
Now that's gangster and I got special ways to thank ya,
don't you forget it
But it ain't that easy for you to back up and leave
him
But you and me we got ties for different reasons
I respect that and right before I turned to leave
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come
on
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Girl, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
Sing it for me, K ?
I love and I need you
Baby, I love you, I do
And it's more than you'll ever know
Girl, it's for sure
You can always count on my love
Forever more, yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shaking right
Down south, I know you're bouncing right
West coast, I know you're walking right
(Cause you don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swinging right
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Girl, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
East coast, I know you're shaking right
Down south, I know you're bouncing right
West coast, I know you're walking right
(You don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swinging right
East coast, you're still shaking right
Down south, I know you're bouncing right
West coast, I know you're walking right
(You don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, you're still swinging right
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
Girl, you know I'm crazy over you
No matter what I do
All I think about is you
Even when I'm with my Boo
You know I'm crazy over you
Yeah, yeah
East coast, I know you're shaking right
Down south, I know you're bouncing right
West coast, I know you're walking right
(You don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, I see you swinging right
East coast, you're still shaking right
Down south, I know you're bouncing right
West coast, I know you're walking right
(You don't know what you mean to me)
Midwest, you're still swinging right
taken from nelly dilemma :)
edited for baby
ben's version for his baby
thank you please dont copyright hahahaha
i know i ought to be scolded =X
well ya i love you baby
Labels: baby i love you~ dilemma
Posted by ben at 5:48 AM
Monday, November 2, 2009
what am i thinking ?
haiz i am pretty exhuasted these few days kinda lost and kinda thoughtless ........ zombieness ....... kinda suck ...... i am lost of word and lost of thing to do........ kind of lifeless .....
i feel and i know i am kinda control freak and a paranoid .... its really hard to push that shet aside.....zzzzz really bothering ..... i cant stop thinking about many possibility and when it comes to the think i got to do i cant think of any ideas ........ great .
cant kick the habit ,its gonna be hard but ya i am still trying to fight it staying on the positive road .... ya?
Posted by ben at 7:14 AM