Thursday, November 12, 2009
What the hell am i doing ?
Wednesday went to anchorvale cc to swim with jon ,bro ,jian rong and qian liang .
Brought baby along too .She wasnt feeling well .... even until today i am still very worried for her ...she hasnt recovered yet ....so she didnt went down to the water .i should have asked her to come cause it was stoneing there for her all the way ....... sorry baby.....
Baby today met up with me went to kovan and ya ..... i spoilted the mood once again .... by forcing upon her saying i wanna send her home ask shes not feeling well ..... great ... there was a cold mental war ... no one wants to say anything .So ya i am in the wrong so i tried to make up for it ....
While walking out of kovan ... i grabbed her hand ... asking her whats wrong .. then she told me she was going home wasnt she not suppose?.... Dam foolish of me to even do that ... i shouldnt have asked her to go home even though i care for her health but ya .... that was abit too extreme.... with that out of her mouth , i knew i was in the wrong ....
instead of trying to correct it i just sighed and squaded down putting my head onto bar ....cause i dont know what to do ...... i am so vexed at myself for being dumb and forceful with her .... i told her i will love and not to harm her in less than an hour after meeting her i just broke it ...
well i amended my mistake asking her not go home as i know she doesnt want to and as i dont want her to cause i miss her ........so ya we walked up the coffee shop and thats where i apologised ....... i really felt vexed and discouraged by my ownself .......she hugged me ...... in the time of moment everything went silent ....... i was totally in a state of blank and speechless ......why ? why ? why ?she just took all my though away from me . within a spilt second ... i felt like crying but i just couldnt i then took her to walk into kovan again we went popular and we bumbed into chelsea on the way to popular ....
After dinner while sending her home i gave her emtional and mental shock twice ......baby immediately broke down ....... this time i tried my best to comfort her but it didnt prove of much use .... i hugged her and patted her on her back thats practially all i could do at that point of time ........ she broke down that harshly i paniced and she looked pretty depress and dead went she was walking to the elevator ....... i tried to comfort her again by huggging her in the elevator and her house gate ........ damit ...... shes still abit broken ....... i am so sorry baby ..... i really am ...... i wished i could now take care of you being sick and your restless nights i will hold you tight ensuring you will be able to sleep ...... damit ....... sorry baby ....... well i decided not to sleep today inturn to accompany her until she falls asleep tonight ....... that will be what i do no matter what .........
baby i am sorry .....
Labels: sorry my baby
Posted by ben at 6:53 AM